Take Up Space: From Wallflower to Warrior  

Let’s talk about something that doesn’t come easy to everyone — especially if you’re introverted, sensitive, or used to shrinking back to keep the peace.

Taking up space.

In conversations.
In relationships.
In the world.

If just reading that makes you want to slide behind the nearest plant in the room... you're not alone.
But here's the truth:

You were never meant to make yourself smaller just so others could be more comfortable.
And taking up space isn’t loud or selfish. It’s necessary.

What Does It Mean to "Take Up Space"?

Taking up space means owning your presence without apology.
It’s standing tall— emotionally, mentally, physically —and believing that your thoughts, feelings, boundaries, and existence matter just as much as anyone else's.

It’s not about overpowering others.
It’s about not abandoning yourself.

Why Some of Us Struggle With It

You might struggle to take up space if:

• You were taught to “be polite” or “not cause trouble”
  
  

• You’re more of an observer than a talker
  
  

• You’ve internalized messages like “you’re too sensitive” or “too much”
  
  

• You’ve been made to feel like your needs are inconvenient
  
  

So you shrink. You deflect praise. You wait until others speak first.
And sometimes you disappear a little.
Not physically, but energetically.

The Power of Presence

A really good example I have found for taking up space is within Karate. It flips the script in the best way.

In karate, blocking isn’t passive. It’s not hiding. It’s claiming space.
Your arm extends. Your stance widens. You meet the energy coming at you with grounded, controlled power. You have to take the space.

Even when you’re not striking, you’re still present.
Still solid.
Still saying, “I’m here, and I will protect this space.”

That is the essence of taking up space.

It's not about being aggressive.
It’s about being anchored.

What Taking Up Space Can Look Like

Taking up space might look like:

• Speaking up, even if your voice shakes
  
  

• Sitting in a room without explaining your silence
  
  

• Asking for what you need without over-apologizing
  
  

• Saying “no” without giving a lengthy justification
  
  

• Wearing what makes you feel good
  
  

• Choosing the seat at the table. Metaphorically and literally
  
  

• Saying, “I’m not okay with that,” when something crosses a line
  
  

It’s using your presence with intention, not just reaction.

How to Practice Taking Up Space (Without Feeling Like a Fraud)

1️) Start with the Body

Find a good stance. Set your feet a little wider, bend your knees, straighten your spine.
This grounding posture says, “I’m here. I’m strong. I belong.”

Use it as a practice, even in private. Your body leads your nervous system.

2️) Use “I” Statements

Try:

• “I feel strongly about this…”
  
  

• “I’d like to share my perspective…”
  
  

• “I need a moment to think before I respond.”
  
  

They’re simple, clear, respectful, and powerful.

3️) Let Silence Be Your Ally

You don’t have to fill every silence.
Sometimes taking up space means not rushing to accommodate everyone else’s discomfort.
Breathe. Pause. Hold your ground.

4️) Picture Blocking, Not Shrinking

When someone criticizes or oversteps, imagine your karate block.
You’re not attacking — you’re redirecting.

“That doesn’t work for me.”
“Let’s take a break and return to this later.”
“I’m not available for that today.”

You’re allowed to defend your space and your peace.

Takeaway:

You don’t have to be loud to be powerful.
You don’t have to lead the room to belong in it.
You don’t have to pretend to be confident. You just need to show up, as you are.

So take the space.
Breathe into it.
Own it like it was made for you, because it was.

And remember: Taking up space is not about being forceful.
It’s about being fully present in your own life.